I really find it weird to put together a list of references.  On one hand, I don’t see the big deal… if I am as good at what I do as I think I am, my clients (or family, friends, co-workers, boss, etc) should be seeing the benefits and be able to articulate them clearly and succinctly… right?

On the other hand, this thought goes through my mind:

‘What if they think I really SUCK?’

Or what seems like an even more disparaging viewpoint:

‘I guess he’s okay.’

‘He’s not bad but really lacks skills in X, Y, and Z.’

‘I would say he is average overall.’

Could there be anything worse than someone thinking that you’re average?

This to me speaks of something deeper… it seems as though FEEDBACK – genuine, honest, truthful positive acknowledgement and constructive criticism is the rarest and most valuable precious gem of them all… much more rare (and valuable) than gold, silver, or platinum.   

I think I know why it happens… most of the time, I am 99% in my own little world:

What am I going to do today?

When I am going to work out today?

What am I going to eat today?

How can I get my needs met today?

Sad but totally true… it takes a major wake-up call like, ‘Can you please send me a list of references?,’ to jar us out of ‘meet my own needs first’ world to realize that other people have them as well!  Vulnerability to the max.

If you are naturally good at giving feedback this, I envy you… please share your secrets in the comments section below.

At any rate, I have asked the young male professionals I Coach for some references.  Why, you ask?  Because…

1. I believe the Coaching work we are doing together has changed their lives. 
2. I think I am pretty good at it (shameless plug.)

Instead of trying to prove Point #2 above (you probably won’t read or believe me anyway), here is what these brilliant young men have to say:

• “Andrew is my wide angle lens, he makes sure I am seeing the whole picture.”
• “I highly value taking a weekly ‘Time Out’ with Andrew to determine if I am making progress on my most important goals and living my values.”
• “He (Andrew) has asked me questions I have never been asked before.”
• “Andrew will not let me settle for playing small in my life.”
• “We talk about areas of my life that I do not feel comfortable discussing with anyone else.”
• “I am glad I talked these things out now… doing more stuff and hoping things would get better was not working for me.”
• “Andrew has challenged me on many different aspects of my life. These challenges have helped me to ask and answer important questions that have been standing in the way of my success in my personal and professional life.”
• “When I was first confronted with the possibility of being ‘coached’ I wasn’t sure that it was something that would be right for me. However, following our first session I began to see clearly the benefits of our future work together. Being fresh in the career world, I had so many questions and expectations of myself which I was having trouble visualizing and making sense of. However, our work together has given me great insight into a much clearer path that we have constructed with the end purpose of having me fully achieve my potential. Being the best possible me!  With so many changes happening in my life (new job, moved across the country, etc), I am excited and energized to face each day as it comes and relish each one as a small victory. I highly recommend your abilities and service to all who find themselves in similar situations, or who are faced with confusion or overwhelming aspects of their lives which they would like to move forward from! THANK YOU!!!!”
• “Andrew motivated me by pushing my boundaries and made sure that I showed up!’
• “There are several areas of my life that I know needed attention but these “important” issues were always trumped the busyness of life. Coaching with Andrew has given me the push and accountability to keep my attention on issues that are important to me. His outside perspective has also helped me see things in a different light. He also gives me an honest perspective that a friend may be shy to disclose.”
• “Nearly 2 months of LIFE COACHING with Andrew and I have learned so much about myself and what I need to do to accomplish the goals that I have set. I would recommend Andrews practice to any man who needs GOOD and Practical accountablility in their lives! He is very provocative and will ask you questions about yourself that will make you have to face yourself. And we all know that facing ourselves isn’t an easy task.”