The 5 Walls that Surround Your Dreams
I recently found a blog posting by Glenn Allsopp (www.pluginid.com) on how visualization can help create success in our lives: http://www.pluginid.com/21-day-challenge/
I have always found visualization to be something that sounds cool but that I could not commit to doing for more than a couple of days before forgetting or thinking it was mechanical and pointless. However, I found Glenn’s blog post to be inspiring enough for me to want to commit to doing it for 31 straight days (I upped it a little bit!)
I started off this challenge wanting to work on the way I come across to people in public places (on the street, at the gym, in the grocery store, at church, etc.) Often, I find that I am so caught up in going from Point A to Point B or getting something off my to-do list that I find myself acting cold/indifferent to others and/or focusing on their faults and annoyances.
Check it out:
I have revised my visualization a little bit recently to make it more impactful. I am now working on visualizing people I see in public with 2 THOUGHT BUBBLES floating above their heads – one showing their DREAMS… and the other the WALLS (voices, insecurities, fears) that keep them separated from moving towards their dreams.
Here is a list of what I think are the 5 Biggest WALLS that seperate us from our dreams… plus the statement we keep telling ourselves… and at no extra charge, I have also thrown in a REALITY CHECK:
1. Lack of Time
I cannot pursue my dream because my schedule is packed already with things that I ‘HAVE’ to do like _________ (insert your word here – WORK, FRIENDS, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, BATHING, CLIFF DIVING, STAMP COLLECTING, TIDDLYWINKS)
Reality Check:
How much of your time is actually spent CHOOSING to
- check e-mail every 30 seconds
- send 75 text messages every 5 mins
- ‘tune out’ in front of mindless television
- view your Facebook ‘friend’s’ 300 photo albums
The key word is CHOOSING – believing that you ‘HAVE’ to do anything is a great way to keep you doing it.
2. Lack of Worthiness
I am not ________ (insert your word here – SMART, PRETTY, HARD WORKING, FUNNY, GOOD LOOKING, CONFIDENT, FLY, BALLS-Y) enough to go after a dream that big.
Reality Check:
These are straight up lies… we all temporarily forget the successes we have already in life to get where we are now. As well, what do any of these qualities have to do with the fact that you have a dream in the first place? The fact that you have a dream indicates that you are worthy/capable/good looking enough to pull it off.
The Wall of Worthiness is just a way to prevent you from pursuing something you already know (DEEP, deep down) you are capable of.
3. Lack of Experience
I am too young and/or have not completed a ________ (insert your word here – DEGREE, MASTERS, DOCTORATE, FUNG SHEI 30 YEAR MASTERS CERTIFICATION DIPLOMA, CERTIFICATE IN ______-OLOGY, PROFESSIONAL CERTIFIED DOG WALKER DEGREE)
Reality Check:
Is a degree or further education what you really need in order to have PERMISSION to pursue a dream? Okay… sounds cool:
Imagine we are at a graduation ceremony at Dream University. I am the Dean and it is now my privilege and honour to bestow upon you a Degree in Dream Pursuit-ology. HOORAY! WHOOPEE! You have worked really hard for this degree and deserve it… now, go run along and start pursuing those big D’s… putting into practice all the great things you learned here at this fabulous university. What?? What did you just say?? You want to stay to do your Masters Degree??!! NO… WE DON’T OFFER THOSE HERE, SUNNY!!! Now scoot before I get one of our current students to escort you off Dream U’s campus forcefully.
4. Lack of Certainty (ie. risk is too high)
I cannot give up my current ___________ (insert your word here – SALARY, BENEFITS, SECURITY, ADMIRATION OF FRIENDS/FAMILY, GYM MEMBERSHIP, SHINY NEW CAR, LOVELY NEW LIVING ROOM SET) to pursue my dream.
Reality Check:
Risk is perceived, in constant flux, and a hard concept to really define… getting up in the morning, crossing a street, or eating food prepared at a restaurant involves some kind of risk. The best way to avoid all risk is for you to stay home all day under a blanket. The next best way is to be below average at everything you do (work, relationships, physical fitness, finances.) Sounds like an awesome life at 20% of what you are capable of! Moving up from there would be simply being average… still not a lot of risk taking possible when you are busy giving only 50% of what you are capable of.
Above average and exceptional people (giving 80-100% of what they are capable of) are the true risk takers.
A sad fact about our society is that it’s actually a real risk to give 100% of yourself to everything you do… people are probably going to misread or judge you for doing so.
Think back to the last time you made a choice that involved risk. If you had a fancy time travel machine, would you honestly go back in time to convince yourself not to make the decision you made EVEN IF IT WAS THE WRONG ONE? I doubt it… there is something exhilarating about making a risky choice and then seeing what happens even if the decision you made sucked. Unless we are straddling the thin line between recklessness and overly calculated risk taking, we are not really living… we are just surviving which to me is below average to average living.
5. Lack of 80/20-ing the MEANS (path) to your END (dream)
Creating too many seemingly related or connected steps that move you no closer to pursuit of the dream and actually cause you to give up or move further and further away.
I will need to ___________ (insert your word here – GO BACK TO SCHOOL, GET AN IDEA, FIND A PARTNER, WRITE A 1000 PAGE BUSINESS PLAN THAT NO ONE WILL READ, PUT TOGETHER A POWERPOINT DECK THAT WILL PUT PEOPLE TO SLEEP AFTER 2 MINS AND THE FIRST SLIDE TITLED ‘ABOUT ME’, RAISE ENOUGH PESOS TO CURE SWINE FLU, SOLVE WORLD HUNGER AND POVERTY, SWIM WITH DOLPHINS, LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE FRENCH HORN, START A SEAHORSE FARM) FIRST before I can pursue my dream.
Reality Check:
These are delay tactics… dream pursuit is messy, not linear or logical, and will change over time. As well, if the dream is big and worthy enough, you will face tremendous internal and external opposition in moving forward. THIS IS THE PROXY FOR KNOWING THAT IT IS TRULY A DREAM! If you face no opposition it is not big enough. However, stacking a list of seemingly connected to-do items together and deciding to start them in the next 6.5-183 months is a great way to stay in ‘hoping’ mode.
How about this:
- find 2-3 very effective steps (the 20% that produces 80% of the result) that you can take in the next 24 hours (very compressed time frame)
- start doing them!
Wow… so simple… yet so incredibly hard and something that 99% of you will think is a good idea (right now) and actually not do.
A variation of the old saying on the most optimal time to plant a tree: other than 3-5 years ago isn’t the best time to start pursuing a dream RIGHT NOW?
Notice that these WALLS all focus on LACK – what you DON’T have. Keeping your thoughts on what you don’t have will cause you to find more things you don’t have… we are all really good at this already… and the DREAM-less pursuit continues.
Let’s stop this madness… tomorrow, I will be writing about what you DO have and how this can help you break through the WALLS that stand in front of your DREAMS.
As well, check out these recent blog postings for more great information on not giving up on your dream while young. They are excellent:
Seth Godin: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/06/graduate-school-for-unemployed-college-students.html
Pamela Slim: http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2009/06/12/open-letter-to-recent-college-graduates/
