When a man tries to avoid dealing with behaviours that are holding him back, his inaction is unknowingly creating a massive risk.  Although comfortable and seemingly necessary, repression of a weakness only makes it worse.  The more it stays in the darkness of a man’s life, hidden and locked away behind fear, guilt, and shame, the more prone it is to rear its ugly head… possibly suddenly in a catastrophic failure (being fired, bankrupt, or divorced) or gradually over time until it surfaces in the form of anything from a general apathy towards life to an all out mid-life crisis.

Up until I was 23 years old, I was an Overachiever.  My gas tank ran on a fuel called ‘the admiration and praise of others.’  If other people were impressed by my achievements, I felt great.  If other people were indifferent or unimpressed, I felt dejected.  These feelings drove me for hours on end to a secret Mad Scientist lab in my head where I thought of newer and better ways to create positive impressions.

Life was a constant roller coaster ride.  All the while, I couldn’t stop thinking, ‘LET ME OFF THIS THING.’

What do I think helped me to permanently get off?  DIAGNOSIS and PRESCRIPTION

DIAGNOSIS

Check out the chart below from Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, ‘Who’s Got Your Back.’  Can you see any behaviours in here that you recognize in yourself?

Ask yourself these questions:

• What is the behavior you want to stop?
• How did the “old behavior” affect others?
• Envision yourself stopping the behavior. What would life be like without the behavior?

PRESCRIPTION

Let’s do something about this.  Commit to:

1. Not living a day longer without addressing this behaviour.
2. Enlist an Accountability Buddy or join a mutual support group (like Young Professional Men) to check in weekly on the following question:
   • On a scale of 0-5, how well did you do in taking action to change your chosen behavior or bad habit?