An agenda for Meeting #2 of your group: (and hopefully, beyond!)

• 0:00 Reaffirm Group Vows (5 minutes)
• 0:05 Professional/Personal Check-Ins (20 min)
• 0:25 Spotlight (20 minutes)
• 0:45 Sparring (30 minutes)
• 1:15 “I Might Suggest” (15 minutes)
• 1:30 Group Issues (10 minutes)
• 1:40 Review and Setting of Commitments (20 min)
• 2:00 Finish!

0:00 Reaffirm Group Vows (5 minutes)

Like a collective om before yoga class or an inspirational keynote that launches a conference, this is a quick check-in on the higher-level goals and values that your group has decided to celebrate—and a reminder that meetings are always confidential, and this is a safe space in which to share.

0:05 Professional/Personal Check-Ins (3 minutes per person; 20 minutes total)

Each member volunteers personal and professional successes and challenges since the last meeting. Consider using a 0-to-5 scale for members to self evaluate their success maintaining a behavioral change week-by-week.

0:25 Spotlight (20 minutes)

A member selected at the previous meeting comes prepared, in writing, to discuss an important issue. It could be a new goal, a behavioral issue, a problem at work with a variety of potential courses of action, or something deeply personal. Other members listen carefully and empathically.

0:45 Sparring (30 minutes)

All members have a chance to engage in dialogue with the member in the spotlight. Questioning should be Socratic and designed to spur deeper insights. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the information you need to make a comment; that’s just not possible in the space of a two-hour meeting, nor is it necessary. The point is not to “solve” a problem or issue, but to push the subject to think in new and fresh ways.

1:15 “I Might Suggest” (15 minutes)

Once an individual has discussed her issues and gone through the sparring round, each member offers his or her take on the situation, starting with, “I might suggest . . .” The language here, focusing on suggestion, is important: It reminds everyone that the power and responsibility of analyzing data and making decisions is always in the hands of the individual. No one is telling anyone what to do, and in fact, sharing experiences or stories is always preferable to giving advice. (Over time, a buddy might play a stronger advisory role.)

“I might suggest” comments could include offering a referral to a potential mentor or someone who can provide tactical advice or services, access to a resource, information the members think the individual should consider, an insightful story, or anything else that the members think might help a fellow member. If a group member doesn’t have any insights or experience to share, all he has to do is say something like, “I’m not sure I’ve got anything useful to add here, but I’m here to support you; I know you can succeed.”

1:30 Group Issues (10 minutes)

An ongoing discussion of team dynamics, challenges, membership, and logistical issues. Also confirm time and location of next meeting, and select the moderator and spotlight subject. If your group assigns homework such as reading a book, do so now.

1:40 Review and Setting of Commitments (3 minutes each; 20 minutes total)

All members update the group on their goal commitments from the prior week or month—however often you meet or get together. This could include a review of recent work with each member’s accountability buddy. Commitments are recorded in writing and distributed to the group.

Have fun! The ultimate key to the sustainability of your group will be first and foremost the professional value the group provides. But a close second is how much fun you have together. It’s fine to infuse the meetings with a little humor sometimes. Don’t be afraid if the occasional meeting becomes more about kibitzing than work. Let people get close to one another around subjects other than the serious business of growth and change.

Now go ahead—get started!

(Adapted from Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, ‘Who’s Got Your Back?’ – Get it!)