Not a bad hand, my friend.

The object of Poker is to accumulate the most chips. How one gets there is a fascinating combination of mathematics, psychology, risk taking, strategy, and good old fashioned luck.  The interesting thing is that Poker is not about having the best hand – it is about being able to win big pots.      

Poker is on television all the time. Why?  Here’s my theory: watching Poker gives us a the opportunity to be ‘insiders’ – we are the only people involved in the game that know who has the best hand. With this information, we get to see if the people actually playing the game will be able to figure it out as well. Will the guy dealt the best hand win or will he be psyched out by another player with a terrible hand but better strategy?

Relationships and dating are not about accumulating the most chips or taking away another person’s chips. However, they are also not about giving away all of your chips or showing your hand too quickly, either. Here are the most common ways I see guys blow their dating relationships from a Poker perspective:

• Go ‘All In’ Too Quickly – would you put all your chips in on the first or second hand?
• Not Betting Enough – not taking any risk feels safe but you can’t win pots with small bets when you should be putting more on the table.
• Fold Too Quickly – feeling like their cards suck so might as well throw ‘em back.
• Premature Call (show their hand way too quickly) – simply impatience and lack of discipline.  You’ve got to be cool with nerves of steel to be good at Poker.

Women Have Amazing Poker Faces

Ladies, don’t take this the wrong way but a lot of you have great Poker Faces. For hundreds, if not thousands of years, we have tried to figure out what is happening behind your smiling, good natured, lovely exterior. Your beauty and charm are captivating to us – you are truly an amazing creation of God. But, inevitably, any guy that is pursuing one of you will come back to this question over and over again in his head:

Is this girl into me?

Guys, hear me on this: trying to figure out what a women is doing or thinking is dumb. I am married to an amazing woman and I still have a hard time understanding what is happening in her head. Going over every possible reason why a woman would think, say, or do something is an utter waste of time. Even if you felt like you had an answer, it would be wrong.

The answer is mind control – stop letting your mind take itself to wherever it wants to go especially when that place is ‘Figure Out Women-ville.’  It can’t be done!  Really intellgent, highly educated, male Rocket Scientists have been working in labs for years trying to understand how a woman’s mind works – and they are no further ahead than you or I.

Here’s an idea on how to stay in control of your mind.  If you MUST spend time dwelling on your dating past (‘Why did she say/do that?’) or future (‘Will I ever find my dream girl?’), steer your mind in a ’10-80-10 Thought Ratio’:

• 10% of Thoughts Are On the Past (stick to positive things which you are grateful for – a great date you had, approaching and hitting it off with a really hot girl you met, a great e-mail you received from a girl, etc.)
• 80% of Thoughts Are On Staying Present (focus your 100% attention on what is happening right now – if you’re writing an e-mail, stay focused on that. If you’re reading, stay focused on that. Don’t multitask or think about what’s next to do. At the same time make sure you are breathing… deep and full.)
• 10% of Thoughts Are On the Future (What would your dream girl look like if she walked in the room right now? What would she say? How would she act? What would her laugh sound like?)

YES, you can control your thoughts in a 10/80/10 patten. YES, it is very hard to do so. 

Tomorrow, I will tell you how. (Update: It may be next week! It’s ready to go… however, Friday is not the best traffic day for a Blog. Don’t hate!)