Dear Men: I Struggle… with Goals.
These are not mine, by the way. I 'borrowed' them.
Dear Men: I Struggle… with Goals.
I struggle with goal setting – my initial exuberance for certain goals usually wears off quickly.
I struggle with goal tracking – I have set-up countless systems to record goal progress – only to never revisit them again.
I struggle to remember my goals – I have them written on a white board right in front of me and I still forget to look at them!
I struggle to go for a few days without wanting to drastically change my goals.
I struggle with an addiction to ’goal newness’ – getting really into a new book, idea, routine, or workout and then see it fizzle out after the initial excitement wears off.
I struggle with goal execution – I get easily bored with routine, regularly scheduled tasks, meetings, responsibilities. I hate doing things that have become all too ’familiar.’
I struggle with keeping my goals simple – I go from wanting really minimalistic, easy to remember goals to then wanting to write a 10 page purpose, vision, and mission treatise on the man, myth, legend known as Andrew Parkes.
I struggle with goals that become ’have to’s’ - then it becomes just about wanting to get them off my plate instead of actually enjoying their completion.
I struggle with making goals too ambitious.
I struggle with making goals way too realistic.
Above all, I struggle with wanting discipline, consistency, and commitment in my life vs. fun, excitement, spontanety, and something new every day. I believe in both and I am trying to find the right balance between the two – a major struggle for me.
Dear Men: I Struggle. And I know you do, too.
Does anyone else struggle with Goals or is it just me?
Hi Andrew – I struggle with many of the items you have listed.
While unemployed I’ve really struggled with my weight lifting, weight, and body building goals. The last two septembers (2007 and 2008) i had shoulder surgeries which caused me to lose muscle mass and put on fat weight. Right before the first surgery I was 187 after a cut down routine and was well defined, and in great physical shape. After my rehab from the first surgery i was 224 pounds after putting on a great deal of fat. Since then I’ve struggled to get back to what I consider “the best shape of my life”. While I’m much stronger than I was in 2007, I have more fat, and I’m not as cut and defined. Maybe more concerning to me is the mental struggle in my head. I’m currently 220 pounds. I’m trying to work my way down to 195-200 where I believe I’ll be more cut and in shape than ever. I believe that is where I will surely be in “the best shape of my life”.
I relate a lot of my gym qualities to my career qualities. When I’m working hard in the gym and out of the gym to improve my overall health, I find that I feel wonderful all the time. I see myself sleeping well at night, running long distances, and even more confidence. When I’m working hard on a job, its usually because I’ve been reinforced by something. I know that working hard will turn into success. This same feeling is felt in the gym. When I’m working hard at work and seeing myself succeed goals seem easier to accomplish, i sleep better at night, and I’m more confident of my worth to the company, or to myself.
This is really me rambling on, but I hope it added some insight into what I struggle with
Thanks for your honesty, my man – I really appreciate it.
This is one of my favourite topics as it has been quite the rollercoaster with this whole goals thing. I have seen my ups and downs and I have struggled to find balance in this area. The items you have listed is where I have been and after much application, I hope I have found a more simplistic approach.
As I read your list, this aweful feeling came back to me of what it can be like. I found that there more attention I paid to my goals the worse it got. It seemed that I became obsessed and lost all the drive that I had initially. It was as if it was a daily job routine and it became very difficult and I did not enjoy it at all. I now know that my behaviour was erratic and this is why I turned so many people off. Evetually, I wore out. At the end of my rope is where I found hope.
Once I reached the bottom, I just asked my self and my wife what we truly wanted to happen in the next six months to one year. I wrote down what her and I discussed. Then we decided to look at where we were at and it wasn’t pretty. Next we checked what options were available to us. Once we started this process and reviewed what we wanted, things just started to happen.
Looking back now, it seems quite simple in that the best way to achieve your goals is to simplify the process. The more complicated you make it, the more complicated it becomes. You might think I am crazy and so did I at first. Once I tried a very simple approach, the things that we wanted to see happen started to take place. Our change in attitude also changed our world.
“Your attitude determines your altitude” is a phrase we heard quite a bit and never really understood it until we took a step back and simplified things.Yes, write your goals out. Yes, work at your goals. Just don’t make it your end all be all. More importantly, check your attitude regularly as this, to me, is the determining factor. If your attitude is all about what you can get, you need to make an adjustment. You should be more interested in helping others. I still apply this principle today and all it keeps doing is opening more doors. This is how I met you Andrew.
As an example of how I applied this principle is that I have volunteered to assist others, especially in tax season. I usually do not charge a client for the initial meeting and, depending on the situation, I may not even charge the client at all. This last note alone has brought in so many new clients that I am not sure how many, not to mention the revenues that have come with it. My goal is to help the client first and foremost and I have been doing this for the past 5 years. I have had more business come my way that pays very well then I had before when I was more concerned with what I got in the end.
I challenge you to do the same and watch how many doors open for you.
Thanks, Vince – I always find what you write to be very enlightening and helpful.
I read your list and thought I had written it out myself without knowing it. My wife has complained about all of those things at on time or another. Just recently we have begun to talk about adult ADD and if that may be a cause of the ” losing steam” so quickly and for me I think that plays a role but not the whole thing.
For me I think that the biggest single factor is motivation and self-esteem. If I start doing something and no one pays attention or I do not get compliments about whatever it is, I lose interest and quickly because I do not see the purpose if not everyone is on board because then I am just bashing my head against the wall.
I have however recently started listening to and reading motivational speakers and books. I have found Zig Ziglar very good. One thing he preaches, and by and large everyone one of them preaches, is continue listening to whatever got you motivated in the first place. If Tony Horton’s P90X commercials got you motivated to workout then keep watching them and you will continue to be motivated.