The Seven Deadly Sins of Dating – LUST

Lust – excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature
Today is the last installment of the 7 Deadly Sins of Dating series. I tried to save the best for last, people!
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the ‘journey’ of life versus the ‘destination.’ Think about it – we all have destinations we want to get to – places, goals, dreams, or outcomes. It could be to…
- find a life partner and get married
- start a business
- have children
- travel to an exotic country
- become a millionaire and retire by age 30
- start an exotic sea horse farm and petting zoo
Whatever the destination is, there’s a common theme: a vision of what it looks like and the realization that we aren’t there yet.
The ‘aren’t there yet’ part is key. What kind of person are you being and becoming during the ‘aren’t there yet’ part? What character traits are being formed and shaped as you move steadily towards the destination? Above all, are you enjoying and savouring every moment of the journey so that you don’t show up at the destination one day wondering:
‘Is this it??!!’
The problem is that many of us, especially men, are impatient. We want the destination(s) NOW or as soon as possible. We start university and think about our first job. Then we start our first job and want to be boss. Then we become the boss and want to become Senior Boss. Then we become Senior Boss and wonder when we are going to become Chief Boss. Then we become Chief Boss and wonder when the heck we are going to retire.
I call this ‘Destination Living.’ A great way to not enjoy the present and one day wake up and wonder where the heck your whole life went.
Dating
When any man walks by a beautiful woman (or vice versa), he has two options:
- Option 1: Appreciate and admire her beauty.
- Option 2: Option 1 PLUS see her as a sexual ‘destination.’ In other words, ‘How do I talk her into sleeping with me as quickly as possible?’
The obvious problem with Option 2 is that it completely lacks patience and disrespects the journey. It basically implies that the journey is irrelevant – almost as if the question is how do I get air dropped directly from here to there (her and I in bed) as soon as possible? A woman (or man) is not a destination - we need to respect and enjoy the journey as it makes arriving at the destination so much sweeter.


When is the destination too much of your focus as opposed to the journey?
Believe it or not women struggle with the same problem. Maybe fewer will admit it but that sentiment is definitely alive and well…
I did not know this (obviously) but really appreciate your input – thanks.