Taking it all in...

Dear Men: I Struggle… with male friendships.

I struggle with making new friends - sometimes I judge potential friends incorrectly. Other times, I just don’t want to put myself out there - there is a part of me that is shy and withdrawn when meeting people for the first or second time. 

I struggle with developing existing friendships – I never seem to get around to doing this despite my best intentions.

I struggle with being ‘inconvenienced’ by a friend or potential friend – if you call me right now to grab a coffee at Starbucks, I will probably say no because I didn’t plan for it in advance (I am working on being more spontaneous.)

I struggle with including friends in things happening in my life – I usually just do it and then think about including people afterwards. 

I struggle with putting enough effort into friendships – I don’t seem to make time for friendships unless where we are meeting, when we are meeting, and what we are doing fits into my schedule, under my own terms.  

I struggle with staying in touch enough or on a regular basis. I don’t know what a lot of my friends from high school and university are doing right now because I haven’t put in the effort to stay connected with them.

I struggle with friends that keep our relationship at a surface level. 

I struggle with the question: ‘How many of my friends would I feel comfortable calling at 3 AM for support if I was in a crisis situation?’

I struggle with this question: ‘How many of my friends would call me at 3 AM?’

I struggle with wondering how many of my friends truly know me.

Above all, I know I need male friendships and that I can be a good friend. I am just not good at them.

Dear Men: I Struggle. And I know you do, too.