Success Coaching for Men

Here is an article I found recently on Women’s Networking Groups:

http://www.womenentrepreneur.com/2010/02/womens-only-networking-grows.html

Some highlights:

Why women-only groups?

“You can get help, keep your sanity, get other opinions and talk with other moms who might also be working from home with little kids,” she says.

When it comes to networking, apparently, men really are from Mars and women from Venus. In this post-feminist era, you’d think co-ed networking would work fine, but many women business owners say they prefer to stick to their women-only groups.

Women networkers say they relate better to other women business owners, who share their compassionate, helpful approach to networking.

Women’s groups have continued to grow because women feel more at ease in all-women groups, says experienced networker Annette Walden Mason, whose Painted Lady Enterprises sells greeting cards and promotional items.

“We’re more nurturing, we’re more caring, and we generally want to help each other,” she says.

“Women network differently,” she says. “I thought I needed to help women get back to a sense of community.”

Guys… two questions:

1. Do you agree that men and women network differently?
2. If so, why don’t men have their own networking groups?

The boys from the movie 'Old School.' A graduate level fraternity?

I’m not exactly sure.  Precisely the reason why I would like your input.

Now, I am not talking about the type of fraternity so vividly portrayed on the silver screen.  You know the one: college guys living in a big house spending most of their time partying or trying to get laid.

Instead, picture this: a group of professional young men in their 20’s or 30’s that gets together to network, share ideas, hold each other accountable and, dare I say it, develop deeper friendships.

Instead of living together in a house this group meets over coffee… or beers… or after playing touch football outside.

And here is the key: instead of just talking about sports, women, and cars, they also talk about deeper things.

Like dreams. Or vision. Or their big, hairy, audacious goals. Or maybe the contribution they want to make in the world before they take their last breath.

And sometimes they talk about their doubts and fears – where they get stuck or bad habits they just can’t seem to shake.

In other words, a band of brothers – guys that have a lot of fun together but also talk about the important things and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable and admit to weaknesses.

I think it could work.

What do you think?

Yesterday, I showed you this:

And asked: “What do you see?”

Most likely, you saw a “black spot” (or maybe a bullet hole like my friend, Will.)

But there’s something else there that most people don’t see. It’s the white space surrounding the black spot.

Think about that for a second:

• What makes us seem to always focus on the obvious first?
• In your own life, what do you tend to notice first?
• What’s the “white space” in your life?  (not as obvious or noticeable but definitely there if you open yourself up to more possibility)

In our lives, if we focus only on what’s currently happening, we miss out on seeing what’s possible (the white space.)  Why?  Because what’s possible is usually outside the limits we have established for our present lives.

A lot of people notice what’s flawed or damaged in their lives first.  Don’t be that person.  Find the “white space.”

In your life, is there a ___________:

• business idea
• course
• book
• trip
• job
• home
• relationship
• amount of $

…that you automatically dismiss because you think you don’t have the ____________:

• time
• money
• intelligence
• connections
• experience

Stop for a second.  Take a deep breath. Consider something:

What if you’re wrong?

Have you ever wonder how the most successful people:

• Seem to achieve everything they set their minds to?
• Appear to always be doing what it is they love and enjoy?
• Look so calm and confident?
• Fulfill their passions and wildest dreams?

The majority of people who have achieved a high level of success in their life developed their success through utilizing the same basic powerful principles. There’s no real secret to their success. Just a 3 step process:

1. Clearly define a future vision.
2. Put a plan in place to get there that includes 3-5 key actions.
3. Complete those 3-5 actions every single day for at least 21 days so that they become automatic habits.

That’s it… not overly complex, eh?  Just incredibly difficult to do.

Needs some help with this? Click here to learn more about my new E-Book: ‘A Man’s Guide to Vision and Goal Setting.’

There are bound to be times in our lives when we feel that our dreams and plans for the future have gone astray. We had high expectations for our future but somehow, along the path, we accidentally took a wrong turn and got off course. Our intentions were good but decisions, choices, and circumstances have put us in a different place than we expected.

But what if there was a way you could get back in touch with those dreams, and set a course of action to get to where you really want to go?

Here is a secret weapon (clothed in the form of a powerful question which I call ‘The Question’) designed to do just that. Check it out:

Here is ‘The Question’ again:

“If we were having this discussion 3 years from today, and you were looking back over those 3 years, what has to have happened in your life, both personally and professionally for you to be happy with your progress?”

Click here to learn more about my new E-Book: ‘A Man’s Guide to Vision and Goal Setting.’

This Super Bowl commercial is called “Injury Report.” It features CBS Sportcaster Jim Nantz giving the play by play on a man being take on a shopping spree by his girlfriend:

I will admit it… I find grocery, clothes, or any other kind of shopping with my wife painful. It’s not that I despise shopping – I don’t mind it, actually.  I don’t like shopping with my wife for two reasons:

1. I hate following someone else around a store.  I feel like a sheep – awkward and weird.
2. I cannot shop without a purpose: either a list of desired foods or an article of clothing I am after.  My goal is to seek, acquire, and leave.  The more efficient and effective the better.

So, last Sunday when my wife was shopping at the mall, I found a comfortable seat near the fountain and read E-Books on my iPhone.  It was delightful.

However, would I rather watch a football game than spend time with my wife?  Absolutely not. Screw the game – time with my wife is something precious to me that I look forward to.

But, Honey: can we please do something together that doesn’t include shopping?

The ‘I Wear No Pants’ ad from Dockers that aired during the Super Bowl.

So, let me get this straight: are the fat, happy, joyful, bearded, singing men walking around without pants on REAL MEN or not?

For interest, I looked up the definition of ‘wear the pants‘ at thefreedictionary.com:

to be the person in charge in a marriage or family

(it’s an idiom by the way, in case that comes up the next time you are on Jeopardy)

Okay, now I understand.  The guys walking around in the field without pants have the time to do this because their wives are busy being in charge of the household.  If only these guys put on a pair of Dockers pants.

What I like about this ad (along with the other 323 commercials and TV/movie appearances from weak, whipped, lazy, unambitious, neanderthal-like men), is that it slaps you in the face – especially if you are a man who threw away your pants a long time ago because someone else HAD TO pick up the slack from your abdication of responsibilities.

What’s your take on this?

From the Super Bowl yesterday – a commercial from Dodge/Chrysler called ‘Man’s Last Stand’:

This commercial bothers me.  Listen to the guy’s voice as he rhymes out the list of tasks. Dead. Lifeless. Bored. Sad.

Essentially, it is saying that as a man, I have no choice.  And most of the things I do, I hate.  My life is on autopilot with the only purpose to please the people around me (especially my wife/girlfriend) so that I can be patted on the head and told I am a ‘good boy.’

And, if I do that, as a reward I will be allowed to play with my toy Charger every now and then. Until it’s time to get back to the real world business of pleasing other people.

The tag line is funny: ‘Man’s Last Stand.’  I am assuming this means that men are losing a ‘war’ and we need to fight to maintain our last shard of dignity and masculinity: our wheels.  Without them, we are essentially robots set to do the bidding of the more dominant gender: women.

Two questions:

1. Is your life like this laundry list of tasks? Are you living a boring but ‘nice’ life?
2. If so, do you think a shiny new car will change things back to exciting and fun?

More interesting ‘man ads’ from the Super Bowl tomorrow.