Now, before I start, let me ask you this: “Are you 100% satisfied with your life?”

If you actually said “Yes”, then chances are you’re not destined for massive success. Massively successful people always know that there is room for improvement in their professional and personal lives.

If you answered “No,” I want you to do an exercise for yourself that will potentially change your life.

This exercise will only take 1 minute. It’s about the same amount of time it takes to update your status on Facebook. Grab a pen, a piece of paper, and turn off your TV if it’s on. Seriously, turn it off. This is about you creating massive success in your life.

On that piece of paper, write down THREE goals that you’d like to accomplish in your life right now that for some reason or another you haven’t been able to accomplish yet. Write down the first three things that come to your mind right away. Studies have found that whether you can spend 1 minute or 30 minutes writing your goals down, they stay the same 9 out of 10 times.

Did you write it down? Good…only 3 percent of true achievers write their goals down…97 percent just day dream about them. Or they go to a place called “POORMETOWN” where you will often hear: “Poor me, I need more money. Poor me, I don’t have enough time. Poor Me, I don’t have a girlfriend. Poor me, I don’t have the job I wanted.”

2) Now ask yourself “What challenge(s) have prevented me from achieving these three goals?”

3) Now here’s a very powerful question you HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF. All successful people ask this question in their life. “If you were able to eliminate these challenges and achieve your three goals, how would your life change?”

Write the answer down.

Now that you have your answer, look at it just one more time…this is how your life could potentially change… really spend a few minutes thinking deeply about what life would be like if you achieved these goals.

I am about to share a secret that athletes, singers, actors, business executives, politicians, basically ALL successful people have done for years that chances are you’re not doing.  And what if I told you that there was a unique approach that will help you get from where you are now to where you want to be in the next 60-90 days that all those successful people do?

Would you be interested in having a 25 minute phone conversation on how you could do that? And the best part is that you wouldn’t even have to leave your house to have that conversation.

Now, these types of success conversations usually cost between $50-$300 an hour. I know because I have paid $200 an hour for this for the last 8 months… and I will continue to do so. Why? Because it has been the greatest investment in my personal development that I have ever made.

Today, I am offering a 25 minute success conversation to you over the phone for FREE.

Are you ready to take the first step? Contact me to set-up a 25 minute success conversation absolutely FREE. We’ll talk about how you can work towards achieving those three goals you wrote down. Remember, a goal on paper is just a bunch of words, but when you take action, your goals start becoming reality.

If you’re ready to start putting your goals into reality, talk to me right away.

P.S. This kind of conversation is a secret because only 1% of people actually DO this.  Go out and look for a person who knows more about success than you do, and ask him or her for help, someone who KNOWS MUCH MORE. Continue to be persistent until you do find someone. This can be in any area of your life – career, dating, relationships, health/fitness. Even if you have to pay for it. Because the return on investment is massive – financially and in terms of happiness and overall life satisfaction. I know, I have paid for my own Success Coach for the last 8 months and the return has been exponential. I practice what I preach.

Don’t wait, contact me right now. I have limited time available to do these free 25 minute call as my Coaching practice grows so do not put this off another minute.

andrew@successquestions.ca / (604) 682-4129

Check out my Coaching website. 

The new keyboard I bought at Staples.

Let’s pick-up where we left off yesterday:

Differentiator #8: My Experience

For the last 6 years, I worked in Finance and Sales. I worked hard, learned a tonne, and became successful quickly. In fact, by age 25, I was making 6 figures, had stock options, and a nice company car… the works. I had it made and was promised the world (‘One day you will be the CEO of this company.’)

I say this not to brag, impress you, or stroke my ego… just to show that I know how to make things happen, drive results, and move up.

Differentiator #9: My Guts

Last week, I quit my 6 figure job to pursue my dream: Coaching and Writing for Young Professional Men full time.  Why? I decided not to waste another minute in following my passion.

In today’s ‘economy’, throwing away a 6 figure, stable job is seen by many as a reason to lock me up for insanity. Oh well… lock me up and throw away the key.

Differentiator #10: My Main Skill

I know how to ask the right questions. I don’t know how I developed this or where it came from. I just am an intensely curious person with enough persistence and confidence to not back down when you clam up or get slippery. I will ask you questions that you have probably never been asked before.  And I will wait patiently while you think of an answer.

Differentiator #11: My Other Skills/Training (in case you care – I would if you work in a business, want to get in better shape, improve your financial health, or just generally develop and grow. Wait… that should be all of you!)

• Undergraduate Business Degree (from the best business school in Canada – Richard Ivey)
• 14 different Management, Leadership Development, or Sales Training Workshops/Courses
• 3 certifications in Personal Training
• 2 levels of certification at Toastmasters (Public Speaking training)
• 3 levels of certification in personal finance
• BOOKS! – My greatest teacher. I read at least 1 book per week in personal development. All in, I estimate that I have read close to 1,000 books over the last 10 years.

Why is this at all important or relevant to you?

1. I believe a Coach should be constantly learning and growing
2. I belive a Coach should be a good example  and practice what he preaches - I have specialized expertise in Sales, Personal Training, and Personal Financial Management: 3 areas that a lot of clients need assistance with. Learning how to do these things better (and getting them) done comes down to intense DISCIPLINE.  I have a lot of this (and have also had times in my life when it was sorely lacking.)  I can help you if this is something that is lacking in your life.

Differentiator #12: My Style

My Coaching is designed to be a kick in the pants. I see through bull shit very easily and I am direct… most of the Young Professional Men I Coach say that these qualities are lacking in their other relationships. At the same time, I want to have fun. In case you couldn’t tell, I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humour.

That’s it – me in a nutshell.  I hope this list of 12 Differentiators shows you how unique I am in the Coaching world. 

Interested in learning more about Coaching?  Contact me.  Still want more info on me? Click here

Beth and I at a party. Clothes from Value Village - great store for pink shirts and baby blue pants.

Okay, okay… I know what you are saying:

“Life Coaching… interesting concept. Not sure if it’s for me or not. However, one very important question for you:

Who the F is Andrew Parkes?”

Well, friend… I will answer that and do you one better all at the same time:

What makes Andrew Parkes different from other Life Coaches?  

Differentiator #1: My Demographic

I am male and 29 years old.  (Sounds obvious, I know… not to slam other Coaches but 95% seem to be female and over 40 years old. Call me crazy but I feel like this makes it difficult to Coach a 25-35 year old male?)

Differentiator #2: My Training

I will finish my Certified Professional Co-Active Coach program at the end of this year through the Coaches Training Institute (CTI), the most prestigious, well known, and longest running Life Coach training school in the world. All in, this program includes 400 hours of instruction, interactive training, and practice Coaching. On top of that, I have Coached my own clients for 200 hours so far and that number grows every week,

Why do I think this is important and relevant?

Because I believe Coaching is a profession and I wanted to be trained by the best. Having such intensive training and the highest regarded certification in the Coaching world will benefit my clients most of all by ensuring them that I know what the hell I am doing.  Sure, anyone can call themselves a ‘Coach’ and hang out a shingle.  But to be the best, you need to be trained by the best. I question anyone that thinks Coaching is something that doesn’t require training, certification, or education.

Differentiator #4: Focus on Young Professional Men (YPM’s)

I serve to Coach only YPM’s.

Why?

1. Need – I sense that a lot of Young Men have a strong desire to reach out for help to live better lives. Unfortunately, they are under served in the Coaching world.
2. Relatability – I can relate to YPM’s because I am one!   
3. Enjoyment/Passion – I genuinely enjoy spending time with high achieving Young Men looking to grow and learn even more.  

Why won’t you Coach women?

One main reason… to safeguard my marriage to the wonderful and talented, Beth.

For me, good Coaching is when I get allowed into the areas of my clients’ lives that are dark, dingy, and foul smelling. It takes a lot of trust and safety to get to this place.  For most people, it’s buried, hidden, or a secret they aren’t willing to tell ANYONE. I feel that if I get access to this kind of place with a woman, we might create a bond that would compromise my marriage.  To be honest, I don’t trust myself there and I am not willing to be a great Coach with a failed marriage.

Differentiator #5: The Coaching Metaphor I Have Created

I have created a Coaching metaphor to help men take Coaching seriously and know what the heck to talk about.  I want men to start looking at their whole life through the lens of a professional athlete. The Coaching is designed to help the athlete (client) take a time out from the action to:

1. Review what has happened in the Game so far.
2. Create or Adjust the Game Plan for the next segment of play.

(More to come on this in a few days. I have put together a 7 day series detailing this topic.)

Differentiator #6: Young Professional Men (YPM) Online Community

I have started a Facebook group designed to bring YPM’s together for one purpose:

• Establish 4-6 member mutual support and accountability groups to help each other achieve big career and personal goals.

More on this here.

Differentiator #7: This Blog

I write blog posts designed to help YPM’s live better lives. How? Mostly through my own experiences - lessons I have learned, problems I have solved, opportunities I have seized.  I am trying to document my journey (quitting my job, establishing this Coaching practice, etc) to inspire men who have big ideas but very little action behind it.

I am also trying to make what I write funny, sarcastic, witty, blunt, and somewhat jarring – a wake up call of sorts.  (If I am not doing this, write me a jarring e-mail to kick my ass, please.)

That’s enough for today – tomorrow I will get into what I think are my key differentiators.  Stay tuned!

Mo Money, Mo Problems? Not if you have an elastic band around your bills!

Time for a magic trick… I will read your mind by deciphering your major objections to Coaching:

• Objection 1: Time
  • I don’t have 45 minutes in my week to talk about my life.
• Objection 2: Money
  • I cannot afford to pay a Coach to talk about what is holding me back in my life.
• Objection 3: Coach is a Complete Stranger
  • I don’t think I would feel safe allowing access to my most hidden thoughts, secrets, fears, excuses and doubts to someone I don’t know.

My Response:

We need to talk. Call me (604 682 4129) or E-Mail me.  If you want (or think you want) Coaching but one (or all) of these excuses are holding you back, the best thing to do is chat with me about it.

Why?

Because I imagine these excuses are showing up in other parts of your life as well… parts where you are trying to do big things, perhaps? This is why you need a Coach in the first place! The excuses you throw down for not going after something in your life (it’s too hard, I don’t have the time/money, it will take too long) need to be Coached out of you.

A great quote from a recent blog post:

Without coaching, I wouldn’t have experienced the amount of success I’ve had in life. And this is coming from someone who’s always done the rogue, do-it-yourself, “I’ll take charge of the school group project” mentality.

What I realized is that me trying to “go it alone” was one of the silliest things I could do. It’s like intentionally holding yourself back, in some weird attempt to defend your pride.

Coaching is all about creating a safe environment for you to be vulnerable as well as helping you find the time and money you need to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. 

If you want to learn more, don’t put it off a minute longer.

Tomorrow, the final installment (and my personal favourite): F4 Who the F is Andrew Parkes, anyway?

1. “Help me… I need a Coach.”

• “I need some help creating a Game Plan for life.”  
• “I need someone to give me honest feedback.”
• “I need someone to act as an accountability partner for follow through on my big dreams and goals.”
• “I need some help with career, finances, fitness, or overall life direction.”

2. “I don’t know if I need a Coach. I can’t think of anything I need to talk about. Everything in my life seems fine right now.”

3. “I do not need a Coach. Beat it, Coach-boy!!”

What’s your response?

For those in 1 – if we have not talked and you are interested in learning more, please contact me.  Be a man and don’t put this off another second.

For those in 2 - do any of these scenarios describe you?

• Mentally and physically exhausted more than 50% of the time.
• Holding hidden thoughts, feelings, fears, doubts, excuses inside that you have never told anyone before.
• A feeling that you have a lot of potential inside you for more that is currently sitting unused/untapped.
• No real sense of where you have come from or a plan for where you are going. Everything is reactive.

For those in 3 – I am really glad that you are on fire in your life. I am assuming that you:

• Have worked with a Coach or have a trusted advisor, mentor, or accountability partner that allows you to be vulnerable and provides solid, honest feedback.
• Have been able to self-motivate yourself to achieve 100% of your potential at work, in your relationships, finances, and health.
• Have been able to self-manage the fears, doubts, excuses, and limiting beliefs we all hold in our heads.
• Or… you try to do everything on your own and keep a lot of things hidden.  Why?  Because you fear that reaching out for help will burst the balloon called your IMAGE:  “I am strong! I am indepdent! I am capable!  I am worthy! And I don’t need anyone else to help me!”

The Bottom Line…

Men will naturally shy away from Coaching because we fear vulnerability. Society wants us to be independent, strong, and self-reliant. We all know this is impossible – but our pride remains, fighting to preserve this ‘Super Man-like’  image.  

I have seen this in my own life over and over again.  Finally, I realized that my pride and the fighting I was doing to preserve an image of myself to others was what was holding me back from truly living a fulfilling life.

I believe in the power of 1-on-1 Coaching with a trained Professional Coach and I urge you to reconsider if pride or preserving your image is getting in the way.

More on Coaching (including the benefits) can be found here.

Tomorrow, F3: I don’t have the F-ing money or F-ing time for Life Coaching!  (Editor’s Note: the F stands for ‘frig,’ ‘frick,’ or ‘frac…’ not what you are thinking.  Get your mind out of the gutter.)

Baseball and Poker have the World Series.

Your favourite TV show is most likely a Series (mine is ‘The Office.’)

Well, friends… I think it’s time for a new Series.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all Ages. It is my pleasure to introduce… (drum roll please!)

The F-Series:

1. F1: What the F is Life Coaching?
2. F2: Why the F would I want Life Coaching?
3. F3: I don’t have the F-ing money or F-ing time for Life Coaching!
4. F4 Who the F is Andrew Parkes, anyway?

(Massive, Ear Shattering Applause)

Let’s start with F1.

F1: What the F is Life Coaching?

What I used to think a Coach did:

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being inspired, pumped up, or motivated.

But has that really gotten you anywhere? Have these kinds of speeches really motivated you to make long lasting, deep, life altering changes in your life?

I don’t think so.

No, another movie speech (or car, beer, drug, woman, job… you get my drift) will not help you move closer to achieving your dreams and living at 100% of your potential.

Why? Because all of these things are external. We reach for them because it’s easy. The real hard work needs to be done on the inside – where the answers you are looking for (and truth) reside.

Here’s what I now believe a Life Coach is:

1. A Key Holder
   • to unlock the learning (and subsequent action) that lives deep inside you.
2. A Peer
   • not someone wiser, cooler, god-like, or better looking than you with it ‘all together’ and all the answers you need.
3. A Confidant
   • creates a safe environment where honesty, accountability, and vulnerability reign supreme.
4. A Powerful Question Asker
   • possessing an intense curiosity… someone that asks questions you have never been asked before or have always avoided answering.
5. A Person Without an Agenda for You
   • everyone tries to create and maintain a certain image around other people (like your Boss, Girlfriend, Wife, Mom, or Dad.) What would it be like to be around someone that you can be your true self, not afraid of what that person thinks?

I am a trained Coach through the Coaches Training Institute (CTI.) Here is how CTI defines Coaching:

CTI coaching holds that people are naturally creative, resourceful and whole – completely capable of finding their own answers to whatever challenges they face. The job of a Co-Active Coach is to ask powerful questions, listen and empower to elicit the skills and creativity a client already possesses, rather than instruct or advise.

The Bottom Line…

You won’t find the answers you are looking for outside yourself. Life Coaching is about looking inside with a trusted, curious confidant. It is an exhilarating, life changing journey to the core of who you are… scary but also a whole lot of freaking fun.

Are you ready to find out more? Check out my Coaching website or contact me to set-up a free sample Coaching session. 

Tomorrow, F2: Why the F would I want Life Coaching?

1. You have a potential problem solving idea that is so cool you can hardly sleep at night.
2. You pour everything you have into moving this idea from a hyped up dream to tangible reality.
3. You tell everyone you know about your idea and they tell 10 friends until the whole world knows.
4. You become known as the ‘Go To’ guy for this problem and your solution. You become a leader within the group where the problem is most commonly found.

I have been working the last several months on 1 and 2. Here is the very condensed version:

PROBLEM: Many Young Professional Men live a busy but unfulfilled life at work, in their relationships, finances, and fitness levels.

MY SOLUTION:

1. 1-on-1 Coaching (with me or a different Life Coach) to reframe a Young Professional Man’s life, helping him to:
   • Review the 1st Quarter of his life.
   • Design a Game Plan for the 2nd Quarter of his life.
   • All in an environment of trust, where he can be vulnerable, honest, and accountable.
2. Small Group support from other Young Professional Men designed to provide a safe place to pursue his really big dreams.

Now, I need your help with 3 and 4.

Here’s what I am asking you to do: Tell/call/e-mail every Young Professional Man you know asking them to check out these 2 websites:

SUCCESS QUESTIONS – http://www.successquestions.ca 

My new website focused on my 1-on-1 Coaching practice for Young Professional Men

NEW MAN – http://andrewparkes.me 

My blog and the home of the ‘Young Professional Men’ (YPM) online community… a place dedicated to being a resource and connecting point for Young Professional Men across North America.

What’s In It For Me? (other than Andrew’s deep admiration and respect)

I truly feel that my writing and Coaching will help Young Professional Men live happier, more fulfilled lives that in turn benefit their relationships, workplaces, and communities. My vision is to change the world with the impact of this and I am pouring everything I have into making it happen.

However, I know that getting messages out to the people who need them can be hard, especially when it’s the last thing you may want to do after a long hard day… so I’ve decided to make it a bit more enticing for you:

• Anyone that proves that they have told, called, or e-mailed more than 50 YPM’s about the 2 websites above will receive a $10 Amazon or Starbucks gift certificate.
• Anyone that proves that they have told, called, or e-mailed more than 100 YPM’s about the 2 websites above will receive a $25 Amazon or Starbucks gift certificate.
• The person who proves that you have told, called, or e-mailed the most YPM’s (by September 1, 2009) will receive a $50 Amazon or Starbucks gift certificate.
• On top of that, if one of the YPM’s you talk to signs up for Coaching with me, I will provide you with an additional $50 Amazon or Starbucks gift certificate.

All I am asking is that you tell YPM’s who would not have known about these 2 sites previously and that you provide me with proof that you did so.

To sum up:

1. I believe many Young Professional Men are living at 50% at work, in their relationships, finances, and fitness levels.
2. I believe my Writing and Coaching will help Young Professional Men live happier, more fulfilled lives.
3. I need your help in spreading this message.
4. I recognize that you are busy and that reaching out to your network is time consuming. I have created an incentive for those that believe in me and are willing to help.
5. This is not about money or making me successful or rich. It is about getting your help in spreading this message to the Young Men that need it most.

Thank you in advance for your help in spreading this message. It is my sincere hope that I can use it to help change the world.

On the other hand, this thought goes through my mind:

‘What if they think I really SUCK?’

Or what seems like an even more disparaging viewpoint:

‘I guess he’s okay.’

‘He’s not bad but really lacks skills in X, Y, and Z.’

‘I would say he is average overall.’

Could there be anything worse than someone thinking that you’re average?

This to me speaks of something deeper… it seems as though FEEDBACK – genuine, honest, truthful positive acknowledgement and constructive criticism is the rarest and most valuable precious gem of them all… much more rare (and valuable) than gold, silver, or platinum.   

I think I know why it happens… most of the time, I am 99% in my own little world:

What am I going to do today?

When I am going to work out today?

What am I going to eat today?

How can I get my needs met today?

Sad but totally true… it takes a major wake-up call like, ‘Can you please send me a list of references?,’ to jar us out of ‘meet my own needs first’ world to realize that other people have them as well!  Vulnerability to the max.

If you are naturally good at giving feedback this, I envy you… please share your secrets in the comments section below.

At any rate, I have asked the young male professionals I Coach for some references.  Why, you ask?  Because…

1. I believe the Coaching work we are doing together has changed their lives. 
2. I think I am pretty good at it (shameless plug.)

Instead of trying to prove Point #2 above (you probably won’t read or believe me anyway), here is what these brilliant young men have to say:

• “Andrew is my wide angle lens, he makes sure I am seeing the whole picture.”
• “I highly value taking a weekly ‘Time Out’ with Andrew to determine if I am making progress on my most important goals and living my values.”
• “He (Andrew) has asked me questions I have never been asked before.”
• “Andrew will not let me settle for playing small in my life.”
• “We talk about areas of my life that I do not feel comfortable discussing with anyone else.”
• “I am glad I talked these things out now… doing more stuff and hoping things would get better was not working for me.”
• “Andrew has challenged me on many different aspects of my life. These challenges have helped me to ask and answer important questions that have been standing in the way of my success in my personal and professional life.”
• “When I was first confronted with the possibility of being ‘coached’ I wasn’t sure that it was something that would be right for me. However, following our first session I began to see clearly the benefits of our future work together. Being fresh in the career world, I had so many questions and expectations of myself which I was having trouble visualizing and making sense of. However, our work together has given me great insight into a much clearer path that we have constructed with the end purpose of having me fully achieve my potential. Being the best possible me!  With so many changes happening in my life (new job, moved across the country, etc), I am excited and energized to face each day as it comes and relish each one as a small victory. I highly recommend your abilities and service to all who find themselves in similar situations, or who are faced with confusion or overwhelming aspects of their lives which they would like to move forward from! THANK YOU!!!!”
• “Andrew motivated me by pushing my boundaries and made sure that I showed up!’
• “There are several areas of my life that I know needed attention but these “important” issues were always trumped the busyness of life. Coaching with Andrew has given me the push and accountability to keep my attention on issues that are important to me. His outside perspective has also helped me see things in a different light. He also gives me an honest perspective that a friend may be shy to disclose.”
• “Nearly 2 months of LIFE COACHING with Andrew and I have learned so much about myself and what I need to do to accomplish the goals that I have set. I would recommend Andrews practice to any man who needs GOOD and Practical accountablility in their lives! He is very provocative and will ask you questions about yourself that will make you have to face yourself. And we all know that facing ourselves isn’t an easy task.”