I love the glass shattering effect - I am going to do that right now.

Let’s recap:

1. Half-Assing (giving 50%) is a plague in our society – you and I both know when we are doing it and it’s time to freaking stop.

2. When you catch yourself giving 50%, the first step is to EXPLORE why it is happening.

Deep down, underneath all the layers, I believe it comes down to a personal worth issue.  If I believe my worth as a human being comes from what I am able to DO (or projecting an image of DO-ing), my time will be taken up defending this image.  I will not have time to prepare, plan for, and execute on the most important things in my life.  It’s impossible to properly prepare, plan for, and execute at 100% in life when the #1 goal is preserving an image of busyness.  Get this through your head: how you appear in the eyes of others should NOT be your motivation in life. 

Let’s get real for a minute: What 3 activities, relationships, jobs, or hobbies are you giving 50% of yourself to?

1.

2.

3.

By when will you quit them?

1.

2.

3.

Simple. 

Why am I advocating EXPLORE and QUIT? Because most people will not do it. In fact, most people never stop to think about why they are giving 50% to something. Don’t let this be you… try these three steps:

1. Stop caring about what others think about you
2. Mercilessly QUIT unnecessary busyness in your life
3. Devote time to reviewing, planning, preparing, and executing at 100% in the most important activities to reaching your goals

Don’t do the Explore and Quit parts alone. Find a person you can trust who will ask the tough questions and hold you accountable… maybe a Life Coach or a friend. On your own, you may not dig away all of the layers or even realize that some of the layers exist. You’re also much more likely to put off the 3 things you need to quit above.

Start Today

Explore and Quit: two necessary actions on the road to 100%-ville… the only place I know where being fully yourself (and not caring a lick about what other people think) is the soup of the day… today, tomorrow… forever.  Mmmm… mmmm…. mmmm. That soup is good.

I am so scared.

Yesterday we discussed a huge problem in our society: when you or I give 50% of what we are capable of (hence the allusion to my friendly, rapping friend – 50 Cent.) 

We also determined that just ‘trying harder’ is not the answer.  Nor is trying something new… a new Daytimer, book, system, meditation, or guru might help for a few days but will gradually fade. 

You might think it is lack of discipline or knowledge that causes someone to give 50%.  I don’t.  Why? All of us are disciplined at things that really matter to us. I know a lot of people very disciplined about logging into Facebook every single day to update their Status or upload pictures… or others that check e-mail every hour on the hour…no discipline issue here. I also know many people very disciplined at eating 5 times per day… or bathing, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, and making sure they wear clean clothes on a daily basis. Even watching television or wasting time seems to be something a lot of us are very, very disciplined at. No, it’s not discipline.

Lack of Knowledge or How-To? Not possible. Every bookstore, library, television, or Internet connected computer can download the ‘How’ in seconds. There is never a time when so much information about how to do something is at our fingertips.

No, it’s something deeper… like a coffin buried six feet underground, layers of dirt have been piled on.  It’s time to do some grave digging:

Layer 1 – Lack of Effort

(shows up as giving 50% – for example, when your Boss provides you with a pathetic Performance Review filled with dribble)

… digging…

Layer 2 – Lack of Advanced Preparation

(dedicated, focused time spent by your Boss thoroughly preparing for the Performance Review meeting instead of making a lot of it up on the fly)

…digging…

Layer 3 – Lack of Planning and Focus on the Most Important

(answering e-mail, mindless meetings, etc. take priority because these tasks are urgent and easy… no time is blocked in advanced for important, non-urgent tasks like preparing for your Performance Review)

… digging…

Layer 4 – Busyness (trying to do too many things in a day, week, or month)

… digging…

Layer 5 – Desire to Project a Certain Image to the World (‘Hey, World! Look at me! I am so busy!’)

… digging…

Layer 6 – Caring Most of All About How the World Views Us – Others’ Opinions Guide How We Live

… digging…

Layer 7 – Fragile Self Esteem based on External Comparisons and Opinions

… digging…

Layer 8 – Not Believing We Have Any Internal or Inherent Value as a Human Being – our worth comes from what we are able to DO or projecting an image of DO-ing.

Now, we have dug down to the source of the problem. Someone struggling to know who they are and if they are valuable will care a lot about what other people think… and having other people think that we have a lot going on is important. Even if preserving this image hampers our ability to put quality time into accomplishing really great things.

To get where we really want to go, we need to do some Quiting – we will explore what and how to ‘Quit’ tomorrow.

The closes image I could find to 50% - 50 Cent. YES!!!

When you see it, you just know… something is missing.

Trying to figure out exactly WHAT is missing (and more importantly WHY it’s missing) is brutally hard.

Like a clever chameleon, WHAT and WHY easily evade your attempts to capture, tag, and cage them for display at the local zoo.

But there they are again… and again… and then yet another time but even louder… shouting at you like a man in front of your face with a gigantic bullhorn… taunting you… daring you to figure them out despite the unique way they show up over and over again.

I am going to let you in on a little secret…I think I may have caught WHAT… and I know where to find WHY.

‘That’s great!’, you say excitedly. ‘Tell me.’

Okay… here goes. The WHAT is called:

50%

‘50%? 50% of what?,’ you ask.

Of anything.

‘Anything? I don’t understand.’

Let me explain…

…it’s when your co-worker shows up at work and spends most of the morning talking about the horrible traffic and weather we have in _______ (insert your city here.)

…it’s when your Spinning Instructor plays the same bloody music and does the exact same routine at every Spin class you go to.

…it’s when your spouse isn’t listening to you when you really need to talk.

… it’s when your friend calls 20 minutes before you agreed to meet for coffee to cancel because she has ‘had a long day.’

… it’s when your flight attendant, store salesperson, or customer service rep treats you like a farm animal.

… it’s when your Boss provides you with a Performance Review that completely lacks anything relevant, constructive, or useful.

… it’s when you show up day-after-mind-numbing day at a job you hate, with co-workers you despise, clients from hell, and a Boss that could care less about you.

… it’s when you see someone or feel yourself like you are half-assing… phoning it in… faking it… not really interested, committed, or giving it your all… physically present but mentally checked out.

I call it, ‘Living Life at 50%.’

And I am declaring war on this energy sucking, mind destroying, life force snuffing cancer this very moment, on this very page.

The real question is, ‘How do we figure out WHY it shows up in our lives?’

Here’s what I think… Explore It and then Quit It.

Tomorrow, we will get into Explore It.

Sitting Alone and Quiet - feels so peaceful to me.

The word meditation is loaded with strange feelings for me and a lot of the men I Coach. It seems mysterious and hard to get a firm grasp on:

• How do I mediate?
• Why should I meditate?
• Where do I learn to mediate?
• How should I feel afterwards?
• How do I know if I am doing it right?
• How do I quiet my mind if it keeps drifting back to my to-do list or next course of action?

I still don’t have the answers to these questions.

But I think I may be onto something:

Sitting ALONE (away from all visual and auditory distractions) and QUIET (deliberately not letting my mind go to ‘What’s the next action?’) really helps me.

I don’t know specifically how Alone (A) and Quiet (Q) helps me. I just know it does.

One thing is for sure… everything inside me will fight against taking the time to AQ:

‘You don’t have time to sit alone quietly! There’s too much to do. Get on with the next action. Hurry up! Life is passing you by. You’re behind… way, way behind!’

That’s when I know it is important.

Maybe you want candy?

What is the thing that you most want in your life right now?

Why are you not going after it? (Answer without providing a long drawn out story or excuse.)

You need to be doing this – do not waste another day.

I have a Moleskine and I just noticed how weird the term 'Moleskine' is.

I hate Journaling. Not because I don’t see value in it – it has always been something I have WANTED to do but could never complete consistently.

I am torn – I highly value reflection and keeping a record of what is happening in any given moment so that I can review and revisit later.

But journaling feels forced and mechanical to me after a few days.

I guess this Blog is like a journal. However, although I am honest, open, and vulnerable on it, I feel there is a different purpose behind this – to be an example to other men that vulnerability is cool and also show the value of reaching out to another man for help (especially in 1-on-1 Coaching.)

Today, I had a breakthrough. I came up with a journaling alternative:

I am going to write down at least 10 things that happen in any given day that I am thankful for – a new client, new idea, new E-Book, demonstration of good time mgt, a great Coaching call – whatever, as long as it was cool and I am thankful for it.

And instead of Journaling, I am calling it the ‘Man-List.’ I like that title better.

I know this isn’t a new idea. For me though, the best ideas are those that come right when you need them.

How do you reflect on what you are thankful for?

'I walk around like I got a S on chest.' Lil' Wayne (21st century poet)

Live in the Present Moment – right here, right now. Not in the past – thoughts of guilt, shame, or regret. Or in the future – thoughts of fear, anxiety, or worry.

What’s #1?

Admitting that he cannot do it all on his own and asking for someone else’s help.

What’s #3?

The discipline to take action on an idea or a commitment he has made to himself or others.

Can you think how different the world would be if men lived in the present moment, asked for help, and followed through on ideas and commitments?

Wow.

Agree? Disagree?

Tell me.

This isn't me, by the way!

Today, I quit my job in order to pursue Life Coaching and Writing for Young Professional Men full time.

WOW! What a FEELING! Today is a day I will never forget.

The moment when I hit the send button on my resignation e-mail (my boss does not work in the same office as me), my heart was pounding. I kept saving the e-mail as a draft and exiting. 3-4 times! Then, I finally did it and here we are now.

Some Benefits I see from this balls-ey, bold move of mine (if I do say so myself):

• I Get to Engage 100% in Work that I am Passionate and Excited About.
  • My passion it to help Young Men live better, richer, fuller lives through Writing and Coaching. The best way to do this is go after it full force.
• An Exciting Opportunity to Be an Entrepreneur
  • Being my own boss and fully responsible/accountable for how I spend my time and how money comes in/goes out is absolutely thrilling for me.
• Ability to Work from Home
  • I love being able to set my own hours, not commute (even the 15 minute walk I have now!), and have all of the comforts of home at my fingertips. As well, I find offices (and the things that go along with them like meetings, etc) distracting and prone to unproductivity.

Above all, I believe this will help my Coaching – how can I sit in front of a Coaching client, urging him to go after big ass, nasty, fear and dry mouth enducing goals if I am too chicken to go after mine?

Warning: Integrity Alert! Warning: Integrity Alert!

Not forgetting that there is a Cost to my actions:

• Consistent, High Quality Dough
  • I am kissing goodbye to regular, predictable income. I have been fortunate enough to make really good coin the last 4 years so this will be different.
• Perks (Sweet, Sweet Company Car, Health Benefits, Blackberry)
  • Having a nice Company Car (and not paying for gas or maintenance) has been a luxury I have really enjoyed. A lot. Oh well… Public Transit, walking, or a bike you say?

My Conclusion: Benefits > Costs

How does it feel?

Awesome! I feel free, light, and happy. I want to bottle this feeling, turn it into a cologne, and call it ‘Li-Free-Hap’ (which is a new hot fragrance in Hong Kong, in case you didn’t know.)

Does it make 100% complete sense to make this move?

No, not at all. It’s a risk, definitely. In fact, every so often, out of the blue, I will have this little voice in my head pop up saying:

‘ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?  You’re giving up a well paid, stable, reasonably demanding, comfortable job in this Economy?  There is something wrong with you, Cheech.’ 

What do I do about this voice?

First off, I punch him in the face and put him in a Sleeper Hold.  He is an excuse laden liar with no feel for the real 411. This punk would prefer it if I was docile, safe, secure, and COMFORTABLE. Not out making big things happen, taking risks to pursue dreams.

Also, I practice what I preach by getting Coaching on this from my own Coach, trusted confidant, and all around amazing man, Ron Renaud.

The bottom line…

I could not keep working at a place that had my body but not my mind. Predictable $ and a Company Car cannot buy my mind space. It just did not feel right to put it off any longer. I am exercising classic READY-FIRE-AIM tactics here, people. Just doing what my heart says is right.

One huge shout out…

To my unbelievably supportive and incredibly hot wife, Beth. Thanks for always encouraging and supporting me… never doubting me or thinking that I am crazy to do this. I love you so much! (By the way, she is training to become a Life Coach, too… probably next year… and I know she will be absolutely awesome at it.)

Onwards and Upwards!

• What am I going to eat today?
• When am I going to go to the gym today and what will I do?
• How can I reach my goals today?
• How can I complete items on my to-do list today?

See what’s missing here?

YOU.

Specifically, what is important to you and how can I help?

And not just the idea or feeling of helping without the willingness to actually help. No, the actual doing part, too.

I am working on this. I appreciate your patience.  In fact, in an hour from now, I am leaving my work/to-do-list/goals/gym time behind to help some friends move.  Are you proud of me??

Here’s a really simple thing you could do to help me:

Tell every Young Professional Man you know about my new 1-on-1 Life Coaching website called Success Questions:

http://www.successquestions.ca

Tomorrow, I will give you an even more compelling reason to help me (other than the goodness of your little heart.)

And, while you’re doing this, let me know how I can help you (and give me a gentle slap when I get too caught up in my own world to follow through!)